IS IT POSSIBLE TO CONTRACT STIs/STDs IN A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP?

Author: Doreen Abena Kyerewaa Akata

Talk of contracting an STD or STI while in a relationship, and there would be the tendency for most people to think that one partner might have cheated, but this is not always the case. Yes, contrary to the general perception, it is possible to get an STI/STD without your partner having cheated on you. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), also sometimes referred to as sexually transmitted infections (STIs), are a group of infections that can be passed from one person to another primarily through sexual contact. Some like syphilis, genital warts, and gonorrhoea are spread almost exclusively this way^[¹^]. Several others can also be contracted through non-sexual means like sharing infected needles (HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis B), close skin-to-skin contact with the infected area (genital herpes, HPV), or from mother to child during pregnancy. The more you know about how STIs are transmitted, the higher advantage you have at safeguarding your sexual health and prioritising your safety. Here are some ways these infections can be passed on besides sexual activity:

THE PRESENCE OF A PRE-EXISTING STI

Some STIs can remain dormant for long periods without causing immediate symptoms. During this period, the infected person may not know they have an STI but can spread it on to others. Dormancy periods vary greatly depending on the specific STI. Some may remain asymptomatic a few days, weeks, or months after exposure, whereas some can remain “silent” for years. For instance, an STI like herpes can remain dormant for up to 30 years or more and can reactivate after certain life instances like stress or lowered immunity. HIV can remain dormant for exceptionally long periods, sometimes staying asymptomatic for a decade or longer^[2].

An STI like chlamydia can lie dormant in the body for years and can be transmitted even when the symptoms are not present. However, it is possible to detect the presence of chlamydia through tests even if it remains asymptomatic. The dormancy of an STI does not mean it is inactive. It can be transmitted and cause harm to the body. Again, these undetected infections can persist for years before causing health implications such as genital warts, certain cancers (throat, cervical, or anal), pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), and ectopic pregnancy in women.

It’s important to consider that someone could have contracted an STI from a previous sexual relationship before entering their current relationship. This STI could remain dormant for years, without causing any symptoms. Therefore, even when the current relationship is a monogamous one, the STI could then be transmitted to the current partner. In such a situation, having an STI wouldn’t be due to infidelity on the part of this person but due to a pre-existing STI from a previous relationship that ended years ago.

2. NON-INTIMATE MEANS

Another possible means to contract an STI is through non-sexual contact. Some STIs such as Hepatitis B and HIV can be transmitted through sharing infected needles, getting cut by infected razors, getting tattooed with an infected tattooing equipment, and contaminated blood transfusions (in this case, HIV). It is worth noting though, that the notion that STI transmissions could occur through the use of public pools, public toilet seats, and hot tubs is not backed by scientific evidence^[³^]. The chances of getting an infection from these areas is almost non-existent because, for an STI to thrive, it needs an environment created by warm human fluids and tissues^[⁴^].

3. FAILED TREATMENT

A person could pass an STI on to their partner without cheating if there was an old infection that was not successfully treated. Treatment failure could occur due to antibiotic resistance^[⁵^]. A primary example is gonorrhoea, a bacterial STI which has the tendency to develop resistance against the most common antibiotic treatments. This can make it difficult to attain successful treatment of the infection. Also, for an STI such as syphilis which occurs in four distinct stages (primary, secondary, latent, and tertiary), if treatment should fail at any of the stages, the disease can advance invisibly and may only become apparent weeks, months, or years later when severe symptoms develop, or a sexual partner is infected.

4. FALSE-NEGATIVE STI RESULTS

Assuming both you and your partner have had STI test done in the past and the results came out negative, it is possible that an incomplete screening was done. Not all STI panels are created equal. Most basic panels tend to focus on the most common STIs: HIV, syphilis, gonorrhoea, and chlamydia, and may miss less common STIs which could be contracted non-sexually (e.g., Hepatitis B). In such cases, the STI may go undiagnosed until it is passed to someone else.

Also, it’s possible for an STI screening to yield inaccurate results when the test is run too early before the incubation period of an infection (e.g., chlamydia). Many tests use the presence of the antibodies from the incubation time as indicators of a positive infection^[⁶^]. These antibodies take time to develop after infection. Therefore, when a person is tested too early before the onset of the infection, they may get a negative test result and the infection can develop undetected.

While it’s natural to suspect infidelity after an STI diagnosis, it is also advisable to keep in mind that the presence of the infection does not necessarily mean your partner might have strayed. As noted above, many factors can contribute to STI transmission. Therefore, in a situation where you believe you are in a monogamous relationship but suspect or confirm that you have an STI, it would be best to approach the situation with patience. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your situation, to get clarity to enable you strengthen your relationship and help you both navigate through such challenging times together. It is also a good idea for you as a couple to get STI screening together: this can help you understand the timeline of the infection for both of you. While at it, remember to get proper treatment for the STI.

Contact the DGG team for further confidential support or further clarifications about STIs.

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