My father sleeps with me

Hello DGG team,

I am a 15-year-old girl in JHS 3 preparing to write my BECE. I really need help. I feel very
hopeless. I stay with my father and 3 stepmothers. My father divorced my mother, and I am the
only child of my mother who stays with my dad. The other 3 are with my mother and
grandmother. The problem is that my father sleeps with me. My stepmothers know but anytime I
mention it to them, they tell me it’s a lie and that I know what I am talking about. Everyone
knows about it, but it seems they can’t do anything to help me. My dad wields a lot of power in
our community, so he insults and abuses anyone who confronts him. My other siblings share
rooms, but I have my own room and my dad keeps the keys to my bedroom. Any time I resist or
fight him, he beats me up and denies me pocket money for weeks, even if I allow him to have his
way afterwards. I got pregnant, 3 months ago. I suspected it because I had missed my period but
didn’t tell anyone. I felt it was a way to disgrace my father. My stepmother, his first wife, told me
to go and see a nurse. I went and the nurse gave me some pills to take and insisted I took them in
her presence. She said it was an anti-malaria drug and everyone had taken it except me. Later
that night, I felt some sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I had severe cramps and the urge to
push something out. Three big clots of blood came out from my private part and I continued to
bleed heavily for days. It was a very horrible experience. I felt so weak afterwards, I still do. I
have become so pale and frail. I feel very helpless and hopeless. I feel like I’m paying for the sins
of my mother, and I don’t even know what sins they are. He talks about her with disdain. I want
to leave the house; my grandmother is begging me to stay because she and my mother can’t cater
for my education or feeding. She said they are struggling to cater for my other siblings. I don’t
know what to do now, I need help.

Hello, thank you for reaching out to the DGG team. First of all, I must say, that this is a very
unfortunate situation you are facing, and no growing child deserves to go through this. It is also
very unfortunate that those in your immediate environment are unable to help you or protect you.
Your life and future are precious and dear to us all. You need to get out of that environment. If
you are reading this response, I would like you to send the DGG team an email with your
personal details. This is a serious case of child abuse, and we would love to help you reach
appropriate psychological and physical support as well as appropriate legal systems. A simple
advice is just not enough to put an end to this situation. Other structures must be put in place.
Please reach out to the DGG team for help. You do not have to pay for the sins of anyone even if
there are sins. Child sexual abuse is still a crime no matter who perpetrates it, victims of this
abuse should be protected at all cost and perpetrators of this crime should face the consequences
regardless. We hope to hear from you soon so we can immediately effect the help and support
that you need.