COVID-19 AND MANAGING OUR RELATIONSHIPS

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a journey. We have all gone through such varied experiences and yet, shared many more. It would be fair to say that, no one’s experience was overwhelmingly positive and there may even be some people who have faced tragedy after tragedy. This pandemic has been jarring, affecting our health, finances, interpersonal relationships and our futures. It has forced many of us to reexamine the different aspects of our lives as we have been confronted with such drastic changes.

For a lot of people, it meant that they got to take a break from working or schooling. The first few weeks felt like a much-needed vacation. They finally had the time to revisit old hobbies, take up new ones, bond with family, start new projects or catch up on shows. For others, those times were met with a lot of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety.  This pandemic meant that, offices were being shut down, people were laid off and salaries were cut in half. Meanwhile, living expenses increased because people were at home using up utilities faster than usual. People had to purchase masks and sanitizers as well as stock up on essentials that were running out at the markets. The strain this presented was unimaginable. 

Some people had to quarantine alone, away from their loved ones and had to find ways to stay connected. Phone calls, video calls and social media, helped to maintain some semblance of normalcy but they were still not the same. They did not provide the same comfort we got from spending time with our significant others in person, and could not replace the warmth of physical touch. On the other hand, having the privilege of being at home with those you love softens the blow of the pandemic. Nonetheless, that in itself is not all rosy. Being together constantly meant that those quirks about your partner get a bit more annoying. Little problems may grow into larger arguments, you may begin to feel suffocated and it could even affect your intimacy. Over time, the challenges of being stuck together elevate issues that might have otherwise been swept under the rug. In addition to this, having children at home makes things more chaotic. When schools were shut down, parents had to keep these young children occupied for most parts of the day because they could not go out and play with friends. When some schools opened back up virtually, parents were responsible for chaperoning the zoom classes and sometimes even had to become teachers themselves. 

So, the big question is, what is the way forward? How can we make things easier on ourselves? One of the ways is to set reasonable boundaries. Setting boundaries is very necessary in our day-to-day lives and even more now, to avoid getting overwhelmed. When it is possible, you can start by taking time apart for yourself to unwind. Time spent alone is great for self-reflection, creativity and to de-stress.  You can do simple low-pressure activities that you enjoy. It could be something as simple as taking a walk outside, listening to music or reading. Set this boundary by communicating with your partner, children or family that you need some time alone to yourself with no distractions and why. It could be a little off-putting to others initially but when you return in a better headspace to take on the day, eventually, they will understand.

Especially for women, setting boundaries is also a healthy practice to start with your children. It does not mean you are neglecting your children nor does it make you a bad mother. Do not underestimate your kids’ ability to understand these things and be sure to reassure them. These simple boundaries can do amazing things for both your mental and physical health. 

Communication also comes into play when dealing with any financial issues you could be facing. In a lot of relationships, the finances are left to the man to figure out and manage but regardless of how capable he may be, we all need support at one point or another. Showing interest, support and appreciation during these trying times reduces the burden they may have had to carry alone. This support can however not be given if there is no communication. Communication and transparency about your financial situation is not an admittance of failure or weakness on the part of the man. It shows that you value your partner’s input and recognize them as an equal in the relationship. 

Effective communication goes a long way in reducing some of the effects this pandemic has had on us. Understand that you may be irritated, stressed, and frustrated, and with that in mind proceed with extra patience so you do not make an already unfortunate situation with your partner and other family members, worse.  As always seek the help of a professional, if you are dealing with any challenges that are more than you can handle.  Contact us at DGG to receive the help you need.  Our team of professionals are just a call or email away and are always at your service.  Wear your mask properly anytime you are outdoors, wash your hands regularly with soap under running water, use alcohol-based hand sanitizers when water and soap are not available, observe physical distancing, and stay safe.  Above all, keep the communication lines open between you and your loved ones.